The next time you pick up a book, or download one, don’t just think about its contents. Think about what had to take place in order for that book to arrive on that shelf. It’s a lot like a movie that actually gets made and distributed. The odds against it happening are so much greater than the likelihood that it will come to fruition.
The story of how Finding Cover came to be is not much different. Let me tell you the backstory to this book.
In 2005 I resigned from my full time job as a magazine editor to write the book. I was able to pull off such a move because I was single with no children and had a small stipend from the reality TV show I took part in the previous year (more on that later). Every day at 9 am I sat down at my desk and wrote until 5 pm, Monday through Friday. Occasionally I would take a break for lunch, but I then I would work late or on the weekend to make up for it.
After 3 months of this I had 274 pages of my first novel. Now, this wasn’t my first creative writing endeavor. I had recently completed a feature-length film script as part of my master’s degree graduation project. I had also written a one-act play that qualified me to have Edward Albee as a professor during his short teaching stint at Rollins College. There were also countless other stories I had written growing up — most of which I threw away or deleted because they were terrible.
Originally this novel was titled “What Doesn’t Kill You.” Yes, it broke the first rule in writing about cliches and not to use them. But I sincerely felt the book was about the things that don’t kill you and how they do make you stronger. My first literary agent, however, did not like that title. She strongly suggested “Three Blind Eyes.” Since I had never worked with a literary agent before — hell, I was just happy to have one — I went with her suggestions, which also included paying close to $1,000 for someone she knew to edit the manuscript.
I made all the edits and we sent off the pitch letters to publishers. I think we even tried physical letters, like in the mail. None of it worked. Nobody wanted to touch such a dark topic, especially in fiction. By this time it was 2006 and non-fiction was all the rage. While the story is based on true events, because I had no celebrity connections, everyone turned it down. Other aspiring writers will recognize the rejection letter language — “not right for us at this time.”
By 2008, I had given up. My agent had been in a terrible car accident and could no longer walk the book trade show floors. She cancelled all her writer contracts and started physical therapy to recovery.
When I found out I was pregnant in 2010, this manuscript was the farthest thing from my mind.
Nine years later — that’s right, nine years — friends from school were asking my why I had never published. It was uncanny how this topic came out of nowhere and suddenly rose to a din I could not ignore. The proposition was a terrifying one: revisit the manuscript I slaved over which was rejected by hundreds of agents and publishers.
In the summer of 2019 I embarked on the journey of rewriting the entire book. As I reread each page, I could see clearly how it could be better, and not just the sentence structure, the entire story. I guess the writing advice to let it get cold really does work, especially when it’s been cold for more than a decade. As I reworked the manuscript, I felt the support of friends and family who wanted to see this happen for me. They cheered me on, thrilled that I was finally doing what they thought I was meant to do (opposing voices in my head, be gone!).
Self-publishing had come a long way since I first wrote the book and I would have a lot of options for just putting it out there myself. After all, this was really for me and the people supporting me. I no longer felt the drive to seek out a publishing deal. There aren’t but a few big publishers left anyway, mainly because fewer and fewer people still read (a lot more on this later).
The plan was to publish the book on Kindle Create. I downloaded the software and had a former employee/current friend design the cover (thanks to the immensely talented Sahar Naderi). By August of 2019 I was mostly done with the revisions and beginning to upload the document. It was then that my ten year old nephew mentioned he was also writing a book. He said he had recently visited the offices of Mascot Books and was inspired to be a writer (go for it Brody!).
When I discussed Brody’s inspiring story with his mom, my sister, she suggested I reach out to Mascot Books about my novel. I sent it to them more out of sadistic curiosity than anything else. Not only did they love it, but the acquisitions editor happen to be my target audience for this book: young women. You could say the rest is history, but you can’t because that is also a cliche, which is forbidden in these parts.